The Taste of Lemonade
by crashedxhearts
Summary: After finding her mother's dead body 10 year old Bella Swan leaves Forks and her friends behind. 7 years later she returns home more damaged then she appears and finds that she's not the only one with secrets to hide. AH
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! This is a brand new fanfic I've written and I'm warning you all, that this is not my usual comedy. **

**This is angsty and contains dark themes and serious issues. It will also contain some sexin later so if any of this makes you feel uncomfortable then please don't read.**

**However, if not then please do read!**

**I hope you all enjoy and come back for more!!**

**Black Holes and Revelations**

Lemonade. That's all I want, just some lemonade.

My maroon jersey stuck in sweaty clumps to my stomach and shoulders while I squinted my eyes in desperate attempts to see through the blinding glare from the sun.

Truthfully, I hate soccer, all the running and kicking and sweating and energy. I think that time like this is better spent relaxing and drinking lemonade.

My throat burned and again I started to squint. The ball was somewhere around me over to the right, I'm not sure who had it, maybe Alice, she was always excited about soccer. She already had two goals this game, I had none but it's ok because I don't even think getting one would be all that exciting. Most likely it'd just be exhausting.

The whistle blew and I smiled with relief, the game was over and I knew for a fact that a giant carton of lemonade was waiting for me in my fridge, ice cold lemonade.

"Bella!" Two tiny and sweaty arms wrapped around my neck. Alice. "Bella did you see my last goal!" She jumped up and down and skipped infront of me. Her long dark hair flowed and looked so shiny in the sunlight. I smiled at my best friend and nodded my head while she grabbed my hand. "Let's go swing!" I love swinging, I'd rather have been on the swings this entire time instead of the field.

"Alice i'm so tired and thirsty. I think I just want to go home and relax and have some lemonade." Her smile fell for a second but then quickly reappeared.

"Lemonade.." She licked her lips and began to nod her head as well. "That sounds so good, I'm going to make Emmett take me to get some." Alice turned her head and waved over her big brother. Emmett's only 2 years older than us but being 12 seems so much cooler than being 10. I like Emmett too, he's so nice.

"Hey Bella, nice game." Emmett was tall for his age and he always made me feel extra short whenever standing next to me.

"Not really." I laughed while Alice started to ask him if he had seen her two goals too.

"Sure did, you're a natural sis." He bent lower and offered his back for her to climb up onto. She did and was giggling while Emmett pretended to drop her.

"Bella let us walk you home!" Alice's voice was all high and squeeky with joy. Emmett wore a goofy grin and grabbed my hand before I could protest. I wasn't going to though, I love walking home with them.

My house is only about 15 minutes away from the soccer field but I never really like walking alone. It'd become a habit for the three of us to walk home after our games. Along the way we pretended to be pirates and spies and cops and robbers. Each new game would make my heart beat with excitement and cause a new amount of energy to rush through my body.

By the time I got to my door, I was ruluctant to leave.

"After you drink some lemonade do you want to meet at the park and swing?" Alice's hopeful spirits made me unable to deny her.

"Sure." I smiled and gave both her and Emmett a hug before twisting the golden door handle to my house open and walking in.

The air inside was cool and refreshing. I was so hot from being outside all morning that I got goose bumps on my arms from the sudden change.

Lemonade.

I ran straight for the kitchen and threw open the door to our refridgerator and stood on my toes to reach the shelf housing my favorite drink. "Mom!!" My mom had a stomach flu and wasn't able to come to my game today, she said she was sorry and promised me that next week she would come for sure. "Mom!!" I called out again. I needed her to help get the lemonade down. "Mommy!!!"

Silence. Maybe she's still sleeping.

With a huff I pulled over a kitchen chair from the table and stood on it to get the carton. As I lifted it I could tell that there was probably only enough left for one glass. Perfect!

The yellow-y liquid sloshed around my favorite glass as I poured it and sure enough there was just the right amount left to fill my cup. My lips were chaped from the game and the first sip stung them a little but cooled my throat.

So refreshing.

"Mom?" I closed the fridge and started to walk towards the den. Ever since my mom and dad moved into different houses mom started to change our house. Our den was new and probably my favorite room, it was so big and had the most comfortable couch I've ever sat in.

I walked past our front door, which was still open, and saw Alice and Emmett still playing pretend out on the side walk. He was chasing her around with his arms high in the air like some kind of monster while she screamed and laughed. I smiled and continued into the living room.

The den is attached to the left side of the living room through a small doorway. I turned into it while carefully trying to balance my cup without spilling. Birds were tweeting and flapping their wings frantically on the windowsill behind the couch.

"Mom?" I still didn't see her, the couch was empty.

I took another sip of lemonade and walked to where the birds were. One of my hands reached out and shockingly went right through the glass I expected to be there. The birds dodged my hand and flew away while I stood back and looked up toward the ceiling. The entire glass pane to my window was gone.

A chill went up my spine and I walked around the coffee table in the middle of the room to grab our telephone. My dad still lived in town and my mom always said that if I ever felt really scared and couldn't find her then I should call him.

I felt really scared.

Before I could make it to the phone my foot hit something on the floor and I tripped. My lemonade fell with a shattering break and I landed on my butt while hitting my funny bone on the table. A terrible pain started to go up and down my arm and my lip started to quiver as tears threatened to fall down my cheeks. My mouth opened up to scream for Alice and Emmett when I looked towards the floor in front of me and saw what I had tripped over.

My mothers body.

Blood was everywhere, sticky and red and shiny. _Shiny_, like Alice's hair earlier. I felt frozen, trapped in the most terrifying moment of my life when a shrieking and primal scream sounded and threatened to break my ear drums. I quickly clasped both hands over my ears and realised that my hands were also covered in blood. The screaming got louder, more desperate and strangled. I started to cry because it was _too_ loud, I couldn't think.

I wished in that moment to be deaf and started to physically claw at my ears while closing my eyes. It didn't help, still the shrieking grew and I started to rock my body wishing for silence.

Two arms wrapped around me in that moment and picked me up like a baby. I burrowed closer to the chest that held me and figure that whoever it was would take me away from the noise. My eyes were still clamped shut but I knew I was outside because of the change in air, it was hot again.

The screaming didn't stop.

"Bella!" Emmett's voice was just barely louder then the horrible and pitiful noise. "Bella!!!" He shook me and I realised he must have been the one to take me out of the house.

My throat began to hurt, a lot, more than my arm. It felt like I had swallowed sandpaper, and tacks, and sand.

"Alice go get mom!!" Emmett started to speak again, or yell, I couldn't tell. "Bella, shhh, please stop screaming."

For a moment I was confused until finally I was able to connect the murderous noise as my own screams. The fact startled me so much so that I started to cry more.

I think I fainted after that, that's what Emmett has said atleast.

I don't remember Alice crying or Emmett carrying me back to their house. I don't remember Esme calling my father and having him come pick me up. I don't remember the police or the hospital or the funeral.

All I remember is throwing up lemonade.

I also remember leaving Forks, and now seven years later, I remember coming back.

**So this is pretty dark and angsty and all that jazz. I hope you all enjoyed it and yes I am infact a crazy woman who is in the process of writing three fanfics. This particular one will update every Sunday.**

**Emmett's Punishment will update on Tuesday's and Good Morning Sunshine will be on Friday's. **

**Sometimes my posts will be late, I'm sorry in advanced but I'm going to try my hardest to be on time every week. **

**Review! I love to hear what you all think!**


	2. White Lies

**Here is the second chapter! I really hope you all enjoy! Remember to review and let me know what you think!!**

**Also, my spell check isn't working so there are probably going to be some errors and such, just try and ignore them and enjoy!**

**Bella POV**

"So, um, I talked to Esme and she wants you over for dinner." Charlie chanced a quick glance at me from the road. He was testing the waters, trying to measure out my reaction and then appropriately duck for cover. Well fuck that.

"Oh." I was careful to keep my face completely composed. I didn't want to give him anything to work with by accident. I had made it quite clear that I was not one for touchy feely shit a long time ago.

"Alice and Emmett sound excited to see you again." That was a low blow. Charlie knew that too, that's why he said it. He wanted me to fucking talk, to engage, to say anything.

"You talked to them?" He shifted a little in his seat.

"No, but Esme told me they were." Right, i'm sure.

I turned back towards the passenger side window and numbly stared at the passing scenery. The trees were just starting to turn colors and reminded me of how I used to love fall in Forks. Each leaf would always turn a vibrant red or orange or yellow and whenever they fell from trees and you caught one it was good luck.

Fuck good luck. It's never done anything for me.

A chill slowly crawled up my spine and lingered. I wanted to throw up, I wanted to jump out of the car or knock Charlie out and drive us both back to Pheonix. They were idle wishes that just wouldn't come true and I guess I only had myself to blame. When Charlie got the call that Harry Clearwater had died he had decided that he should come back to Forks and help out Sue Clearwater. I found that pretty fucked up. 'Hey your husband just died, mind if I come over and attempt to seduce you so that we can fall in love, have crazy kinky sex, and then produce severely traumitized offspring of our own?' It's disgusting.

I was given the chance to not reutrn to Forks with him, but the alternative was to either live in a home with other crazies like me. I can barely stand myself let alone anyone remotely similar to myself.

So here I am, stuck in a car with my distant father coming back to where it all began.

"Here we are." Charlie mumbled while bring the car to a stop in his old houses driveway. I wish I could say that I was shocked to find out he hadn't sold this house after we moved, but I wasn't. Some part of me always thought he planned on running back here to get away from me. My shrink called that paranoia.. among other things. I stopped seeing her after the first visit though. Professional help was not my scene, it was just a waste of money on a lost cause.

Charlie and I sat in the now turned off car for a few moments in uncomfortable silence. My knee was bouncing a mile a minute while his eyes were looking anywhere but towards me. Some father he was.

"We should probably go in." I broke the silence first because I couldn't take just sitting here.

"Right." Charlie grunted and nodded his head before practically running out and up toward the front steps. I only had four bags with me. My life fit into four duffel bags, and one of them was entirely filled with books. I don't ask for much, I don't need much, but I do find myself indulging in books.

Charlie had, so graciously, taken up two of my bags with him when he went into the house, so all that was left for me was my two bags full of clothes and my purse that I had hugged to my body. Alright, so I guess my life was made up of five bags, but the fifth one was only ever full of money, cigarettes, and valium. I'd be fucked if Charlie ever looked through that bag, but then again, I wouldn't let that happen. Ever.

The front door was open a little so all I had to do was push. Every good and bad memory stayed dormant in my mind while I walked up the stairs and to my old room. It was exactly how I had left it and I felt so out of place, like I was intruding on the last intact serenity of my non tainted youth. It made me feel even more sick and twisted then I already felt.

"Shit." I sighed. Before I could even drop my bags the princess phone on the desk by my bed started to ring. I didn't dare pick it up and the ringing echo eventually halted. I'm only in town for a few minutes and already the phones are ringing. That's right Forks, crazy psycho has landed.

"Bella!" Charlies voice hollered at me from the other room.

"What?" My voice cracked from the lack of use during the entire car ride.

"Alice is coming to pick you up! She said she'll be here in a couple of minutes!" Great.

My stomach twisted at the thought of seeing my old best friend again. Since leaving Forks, I never made a 'new' best friend, so technically in my mind Alice was still the one.

But it'd been years.

The last strong memory of both Alice and Emmett I had was our walk back from our soccer game. Alice's carefree laugh and long dark hair. Emmett's goofy smile and lanky stature. What had become of them? The silly and happy child that had been me became a drug addict foul mouthed chain smoker with a tendency to self destruct. It pained me to think that I would be nothing but a disappointment to them now.

The time on my watch said 4:15 and I assumed that if Alice was coming over any second and that Esme had invited me to dinner tonight then Alice was likely coming to kidnap me. I hadn't labeled any of my duffel bags which was probably really stupid, so I just opened up the one closest to me in hopes that a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt would be there. To my utter shock, I had lucked out and there were both jeans and sweatshirts and even socks in the bag.

I could faintly hear a car turn into the driveway while I power changed. My hand shook a little while reaching into my purse and searching for a pill. The car beeped outside and my heartbeat became erratic while I paniced and turned the purse upside down onto the bed. The film canister full of valium rattled onto my bedspread.

Salvation.

"Bella!" Charlie called out to me again as I popped the pill into my mouth and dry swallowed it. I'd find water later.

"Coming!" I threw all my shit back into my purse and made sure that my lighter had light fluid in it because to have cigarettes and nothing to light them with was just a slap in the face.

I took one more stabilizing breath as I walked out the front door and saw the most outrageous yellow car I'd ever seen in my entire life. Alice had the drivers window down and was lazily hanging her left arm out of it with a lit cigarette between her fingers. Her face broke out into the most infectous smile when she spotted me and I couldn't help but smile back. I walked around to the passenger side and curled myself into the leather interior.

Alice threw her arms around my neck like she always used to and held on for dear life.

"I've missed you so fucking much!" Her words were strained as though she couldn't put enough emphasis behind them.

"I've missed you too." I meant it, I really did. I only hope that it sounded as sincere as I felt.

Alice gave me one last squeeze before leaning back and putting the car in drive.

"Your hair." I said in shock. Alice's hair was now choppy and short and fantastically styled. It was so drastically different from how i remembered her.

"You like?" She beamed while giving her head a little flip.

"I like." I answered. She chuckled and then floored the gas sending me flying into the back of the seat.

"If you think I look different, wait until you see Emmett."

**Edward POV**

"Edward, you're not lying to me are you?" Carlisle was sitting at his desk with me sitting across from him just like all his fucking patients do.

"I'm not lying." My voice was tight and my words were curt. Oh, and I was lying.

Carlisle sighed and massaged his forehead with his hands. I'd only been in here for 6 minutes and I had already given him a headache, I think I broke my record.

"Then why are there prescriptions signed in my name for vicodin?" Oh Carlisle, ever the detective. I shrugged and smiled.

"Who knows, maybe Rosalie has finally lost it." Carlisle peeked up at me and slumped his shoulders in defeat.

"Edward.." He started while shaking his head.

"Listen, I'm fucking dandy, really. You know I kicked that shit a long time ago." Carlisle winced a little at my swearing but said nothing. "Besides, It's not like I need it anymore. I haven't been kicked to shit by a drunken father since I was ten." It was mean and unecessary for me to bring up my previous home life before Carlisle had taken me in. I know that it pained him to think of me the way I was when he found me.

But life it tough, I got over it, he should too.

"Because of your biological father's behavior, I can't stress to you enough the risk you are at for having an addiction. Addictive personalities run in your entire family." The bags under Carlisle's eyes were dark and very visible in this lighting.

"Get back to me when I actually have a fucking addiction." There was venom in my voice. "I'm gonna go now."

Carlisle and I both started to stand and he placed a hand on my shoulder before I made it fully out of the doorway.

"Just please Edward, come to me if there is anything going on." His eyes were pleading with me and for a moment I wished that I could feel badly about what I was doing. All I could feel was a deep rooted desire to pop a pill and get out of the fucking house.

"Yea." I turned and started to walk up to my room. Rosalie was scowling at me from the top of the stairs. She was wearing an oversized sweatshirt and had her hair up in a long blonde ponytail. She looked like shit, not like her usual fucking vain self.

"What's up?" I asked her as I passed.

"Nothing." She spat while shooting daggers from her eyes. Her ponytail whipped my cheek while she violently turned and stormed back into her room and slamming the door.

I fucking bit my tongue and continued walking up another flight of stairs. Rosalie and I weren't actually blood related. Carlisle adopted both of us and desperately tried to salvage what was left of our humanity. When I was ten my blood father kicked the fucking living shit out of me, worse then he ever had before. I had five broken ribs, a broken arm and leg, a concussion, and internal bleeding. Carlisle was my doctor and in all of his godly nature called child services and the police on my dear old man and took me into his own home.

Fast forward three years.

Rosalie lands herself in the ER while Carlisle is working. Thirteen years old and she's been raped. Sounds shitty enough but then of course it come to Carlisle's attention that her dad has been molesting her for years and decided to step it up a notch at a big fat birthday gift to her.

Fucking psycho.

Of course Carlisle feels for her wounded sould just as he did mine and decides to adopt her too. I'm sure Carlisle had to have known what he was getting himself into, adopting two totally fucked up human beings, not to mention daddy issues. It amazed me that even after all the shit the two of us put him through he still hasn't kicked us out.

I'm not sure whose worse, me or Rosalie. Granted she made us change our rooms around so that Carlisle would be sleeping on the floor below her and I on the floor above her, she said it was so in case of an emergency she would have more options of place she could run to. I on the other hand was the one who was stealing drugs from Carlisle's work and putting both his sanity and career at risk.

Today is the one day a year I take Rosalie's venom sitting down. It's her birthday, and she fucking hates her birthday because all those memories come flooding back to her.

My cellphone started to vibrate in my pocket and I dug around past the lighter and pack of cigarettes to reach it.

"Hello?"

"Hey man, I'm going crazy in this house, please tell me you're willing to fucking wander or something." Jasper sounded on edge through the speaker in my phone. In this whole town, I'd have to say Jasper and my neightbor Emmett were the only people I actually liked. I don't want to say _best friends_ because it sounds just so fucking pansy, but I guess that's what they were.

"You read my fucking mind. I'm about to leave I can pick you up."

Jasper's parents just got divorced and after his mom announced she was a lesbian things have gotten progessively more tense in his house. His mom claims to have been opressed for so many years that now that she's free she has a different woman over every night.

I'd say he spends most of his nights crashing at mine or Emmett's house. Mostly Emmett's, but that's only because he wants to marry and fuck his sister or some shit like that.

"Thank god. I'll be on the front porch."

"What about Emmett?" I opened up my closet and reached into the pocket of my old leather jacket and pulled out two vicodin two swallow.

"Nah he's busy. He said something about an old friend of his and Alice's coming to visit. He sounded fucking weird. Like.. almost sad or something." I mulled that over while the pills slid down my throat. That was weird, Emmett is not one to be sad.

"Whatever, I'm on my way now."

I hung up and grabbed a newer leather jacket and racked my hand threw my hair. I felt like I was missing something.

And then the lightbulb went off. My lighter was empty of fluid, I had meant to ask Rosalie to borrow hers. She doesn't smoke but the girl lights candles like no other, I swear one day she's going to burn the fucking house down.

I took the stairs two at a time and was an inch away from her door before I heard it.

Crying, very faint but brutal crying coming through the other side of the wood.

Maybe Jasper has a light.

**So this update is a day early! Yay! **

**I hope you all enjoyed, I find myself really attached to this story already so I hope that all of you feel that way too!**

**Reviews make drying swallowing pills a little easier... and make me smile :)**


	3. Two guys enter a house

**Bella POV**

"Ok Emmett, that's enough. You can put me down now." I struggled to swallow enough air to allow myself the ability to squeak out the words. Emmett's grasp around my body loosened a little, but not nearly enough for me to escape.

"No way Bella, it's been years! I've missed my second little sister!" My feet were about a foot off of the ground.

"Well don't kill me right away then." I mumbled into his shirt and hoped to not accidentally get my own spit on him. I was alarmed when Emmett's chest stiffened beneath me and he actually started to put me down. It was stupid because for a moment I was worried that I'd hurt him in someway, but that was impossible. Emmett is quite possibly the largest human being i'd ever seen. Alice had warned me, but it wasn't sufficient enough. When I walked into their home I was met with biceps instead of a face.

"I'm not going to kill you." Emmett's voice was softer and he briefly resembled his former boyish self. The innocence in his voice made me want to vomit because I felt so guilty for being the cause of his tough and manly exterior to crack, even if for just a second.

"I know." I offered a smile before I started to smooth out my clothes that had become severely bunched. "I was just kidding."

Alice and Emmett and I were in their living room while Esme was cooking dinner for us in the kitchen. I had already gone through a very tearful, on Esme's part, reunite with her before she insisted that she needed to tend to the meal. I offered to help because it just felt so fucking weird to not help, but she refused. I've been so used to feeding myself for the past seven years it seemed wrong to have someone else cooking. I felt like a fucking food bandit.

There was sharp contrast between how much Alice and Emmett's house hadn't changed and how much they themselves had changed. The glass coffee table by their white couch was still in place, but the long dark haired Alice that would color on it was now replaced with a short dark haired Alice who was downing red bull at it.

Then again, who am I to judge.

"So Bella, how long are you here for?" Alice's voice also had a strange sorrow in it.

I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. "I'm not sure. I know that Charlie wants to be here for Sue.. it could be a while." Alice nodded and then went back to gulping red bull.

"Well," She swallowed and then wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, "If it means anything, I'd really love it for you to stay.." I stared at Alice and waited for her to finish her sentence but she didn't.

"Yea." I quirked a half smile at her just like I had at Emmett. It's all I have to give, I'm pathetic.

"We need to like, catch up or something." Emmett wandered to the couch and sat down next to Alice. I was now the only one standing. "Fuck, I mean I don't know I feel like we should play 20 questions or something." Emmett stared at me with intense concentration while Alice giggled.

It was a giggle I had missed so much.

"20 questions?" I asked. Suddenly the valium in my pocket felt heavy and obvious. My throat became dry and I swallowed to no avail, I needed water. The silence surrounding me caused Alice to look up from the imaginary circles she

had been drawing on the table.

"Are you okay?" Her blue eyes pierced right through me. I nodded.

"Yea of course, sorry. I guess I just.. spaced for a minute." Alice continued to wear a tiny frown on her lips but nodded slowly while sitting back into the cushions.

Alice and I were once inseparable. She was alarmingly insightful even at the age of ten and always new whether or not something was up with me. When we were nine and I broke her favorite Barbie she questioned me for an hour straight about what was wrong until I finally caved and cried my confession. Turns out she had already figured out that I had broken her Barbie and that her whole point was to make me feel comfortable 'expressing my feelings'.

I wonder what she would say now if she found out that I haven't cried since

finding my mothers body.

"Do you know what time we're eating?" I hedged. "I don't remember the last time I had a home made meal." Lie, lie, such a motherfucking big lie. I just wanted a distraction.

"Soon." Emmett smiled.

"Esme's making our favorite." Alice licked her lips. "Macaronie and cheese and chicken nuggets."

I dropped my jaw in amazement. I could barely remember what I had eaten for breakfast while Esme could somehow remember Me and Alice's favorite dinner as kids.

"Are you serious?" Alice nodded and began to laugh again, this time I joined her.

A car horn started to honk outside. First it was one really long beep and then three more short ones. We all turned toward the window.

"Damnit." Emmett mumbled under his breath. I unconsciously tensed my hands into tiny fists like a scared shit-less animal. Alice turned to me with a teethy smile and perked up. Her happiness registered in my mind as a non danger signal.

"Is it Jasper?" Alice hedged. Her chest was heaving up and down a little more rapidly and I could see a sparkled in her eye. Emmett didn't notice and merely responded with a 'yea' before walking to the front door.

"Who?"

"Emmett's friend." Alice chirped.

"_Friends_.. plural Alice." Emmett gave her a stern look and I could hear two car doors slam closed.

"Oh joy." Alice rolled her eyes and crossed her tiny legs. "Edward is here." The previous sparkle now turned into a flame. "Why are they here? I thought you said you hadn't made any plans tonight. Jesus Emmett! Bella just fucking got here."

"I told them I was busy! I told them I was staying in!" Emmett looked genuinely flustered.

"It's ok." My voice was monotone as I took in the argument unfolding on my behalf. I really didn't need so much attention, I wasn't here to put a damper in their everyday lives.

"No it's not." They both said in unison.

Just then, Emmett's two friends walked through the door. The first one I could see was a tall blonde haired guy that was pretty well muscled. He was wearing loose fitting jeans and an off white t-shirt with a black open vest over it. Alice stood up as soon as he walked in and so I assumed that he was Jasper. He wore a sheepish grin on his face when he spotter Alice and then quickly adverted his eyes back over his shoulder to the other guy.

The other guy.

My skin started to tingle when I saw him. If there was ever an appropriate time to use the term 'breathtaking' it was now, because I was fucking forgetting to breathe. By process of elimination my mind told me that this could only be the Edward Alice seemed to dislike so much. Unlike Jasper and Emmett, Edward looked significantly more..._worn_. His eyes held heavy dark circles underneath them and his hair was unkempt and tousled. It's color could not be defined because it looked as if some artist just poured orange and bronze and amber and brown all into one on top of his head. There was something in his eyes that made me look away, something so intriguing and intoxicating that I was almost scared to face the full force of their stare.

"What the fuck man." Emmett halfheartedly shoved Jasper's shoulder. "I told you I couldn't come out tonight I have someone over." Jasper put up his hands in surrender.

"I know, I know, I told Edward but he wanted to come and make sure you were really busy." Emmett's stare now turned to Edward.

"Seriously?" Edward just rolled his eyes and put his lips to the drink he was holding in his hand.

That's when I smelled it. The sweet and bitter tang slithered over my tongue and invaded my senses and I started to shake.

"Bella?" Alice was staring at me again and quickly flitted over to where I was standing.

The room began to spin and bile started to rise in the back of my throat. My vision was starting to go and everything looked blurry and far away. My throat started to constrict and I gasped to no avail for a breath I knew would not come. Like some twisted memory I could hear nothing but ringing in my ears, so eerily similar to my own sickening scream so many years ago.

Alice and Emmett both ran towards me and before everything turned to black I saw Edward standing there, mouth agape, eyes wide, lemonade in hand.

**Edward POV**

"I'd kill him. I mean she's a bitch and all but.. I'd kill him." Jasper mused while taking a drag on his cigarette. I flicked the ash from mine out the window and handed him back his lighter.

I told Jazz about Rosalie crying behind her bedroom door and asked him what he'd do if he ever met the sonovabitch bastard father that molested and raped her all those years.

"Yea I'd kill him too.." I pushed my sunglasses up the bridge of my nose a little bit more. "I wouldn't just kill him though, I think I'd fucking torture him."

We'd parked my car near an old park we used to get shit drunk in when we were younger. Luckily Jasper did have a light on him and we decided that chain smoking would be a great way to pass the time until we figured out what the fuck we should do. Emmett was 'busy' and that was just weird in and of itself. Jasper had said that he sounded sad and that someone was visiting but it just seemed to off to be true.

"I bet he's just whacking off."

Jasper looked confused. "Are we still talking about Rosalie?"

"Emmett." I answered and took another drag. "I bet he's not actually doing shit right now." Jasper gave me a weird look and sort of squinted.

"I don't know. He sounded weird."

I rubbed my hand behind my neck and winced at the knots deep in my muscles. "Let's go find out." I flicked my cigarette out the window and put the car into drive.

"He'll be pissed if he actually is busy." I looked at Jasper who was looking at me.

"Alice will be there." It was really shitty of me but I knew that Jasper would never turn down an opportunity to be in the same room as that bitch. Me, I can't understand why, she's nothing but bouts of hyper energy and world class grudges.

"Fuck you." I smiled and drove toward the big brick house that Esme always kept so fucking tidy. Esme liked me and was always good to me. I probably didn't deserve her motherly kindness because I'm not gracious or courteous. Still, she invites me in her house with open arms, a wide smile, and usually a hot meal.

Jasper's jaw tightened and his fingers sort of twitched in anticipation. "Should we like beep or something first?" I swiveled my neck to look at him.

"What the fuck is up with you?"

He squirmed in the passenger seat of my car. "I don't know man I just have this really weird feeling." He looked back toward Emmett's house. "I can practically feel the tension from inside the house."

"Feel the tension?" I had to bite my lip to not laugh. Jasper flipped me the bird.

"Just fucking beep okay?"

I waved my hand in a whatever manner and landed on the horn for one long resounding beep. Jasper shot me a glare. "What?"

"That's annoying that's what."

I rolled my eyes and then hit the horn three more times in shorter increments. "Better?"

Jasper lectured me on 'proper horn etiquette' and I answered with various insults and swears until the front door opened. Emmett didn't look happy and my stomach twisted a little as I prayed that I wouldn't have to admit to Jasper that he was right about tension inside the house.

We got out of the car and walked up the stairs cautiously. Jasper was all of a sudden a little more excited to get inside. I assumed that his Alice senses were tingling. My shoe caught on the final step inside the house like some fucking omen. Emmett shoved Jasper demanding why we were actually here and the little shit of course blamed me.

"Seriously?" Emmett looked at me in shock and I just shrugged. My throat was fucking parched and I took a sip of the lemonade I'd snagged from the glove compartment before getting out.

"Bella?" Alice's annoying voice reached a strangled pitch as she rushed away from Jasper's gawking form over to a girl in the middle of the living room.

I hadn't noticed her when I first walked in because I was too busy trying to avoid getting Emmett's foot shoved way far up my ass, but it was hard not to notice her now. She looked as if she was about to die.

Her skin was pale which to me seemed natural, but she was quickly turning pasty, not a natural pale. It was as if she was sinking into her own body and I was watching. Emmett and Alice both ran to her and Emmett caught her just before she cracked her head open on the floor. Alice was already crying while shaking this strange girls face and practically fucking slapping her.

I'm no doctor but I highly doubt that is the best way to fucking wake someone up.

Having heard the commotion Esme came running in from the other room, apron still tied around her torso. In a flash she was kneeling next to everyone else on the floor.

"What happened?!" Esme's voice was pure motherly shriek. She looked wild eyed from Alice to Emmett to Jasper to me.

Emmett's shoulders started to shake as he violently shook his head from side to side. "I don't know! She just flipped out and started to shake and fainted!"

Alice's angry and tear filled eye tore away from her friend on the floor and practically fucking burned themselves into me. He nose wrinkled up and she _lunged_ and me.

Her fists swung fast and hard against my body and I was too alarmed to bother to block her rage. "It's all your fucking fault!" She screamed at an inhuman pitch. My mouth was still open at shock at all that was unfolding before me.

"Alice!" Emmett turned but didn't dare leave Esme's side and the still limp girl.

"He," Alice heaved an screamed through broken sobs. "He's drinking lemonade!!!" She continued to pummel me and I offhandedly lifted the lemonade in my hand.

"Edward man let's go." Jasper grabbed my arm and tore me away from Alice and the house. I let him drag me like a fucking zombie. I didn't want to leave until I knew that the strange girl was okay, but I still couldn't form words.

Jasper shoved me into the passenger seat of my own car and quickly drove us away.

When I got home I took 3 vicodin to stop my ever fucking shaking nerves and fell asleep only to dream of fainting girls and screaming foes.


	4. Escape Plans

**Hope everyone has been well! Here is the next chapter!**

**I'd just like to say a big thanks to Avery Shane and Candi Marie Cullen, I'm pretty much writing this story for you two haha**

**Edward POV**

I woke up with a headache and a rancid taste in my mouth. Sweat was beading on my neck and the white sheets on my bed were tangled to such and extreme around my legs that I could barely fucking move.

I didn't _want _to move.

Every cell in my body screamed at me for all the shit I put myself through. Last night the Vicodin fucked with my mind so much that my dreams were nightmarish blurs. I couldn't sleep more than an hour without waking up from all my tossing and turning. Eventually I just grabbed a bottle of whiskey and fucking drank drank _drank _until I passed out into oblivion. It was nice, it was realaxing.

Now, however, I'm paying the price for it all. Carlisle will be pissed because he'll notice his alcohol cabinet now a bottle down, and I'm sure he'll just use it as an excuse to start interrogating me again. You know, tough love and shit. What a great guy he is right?

Fuck.

My head fell back when I started to lift it from my pillow and normally i'd have let it. Who am I to fight the natural pull of gravity? After all gravity wouldn't exist if we weren't supposed to fucking fall and stay there.

There's some mother fucking morning insight for you Miss English teacher that said I wasn't creative enough.

A deafening crack roared throughout my room as my door flew open. "What the _fuck_ did you do?" Rosalie seethed. She had one hand on my door and one clutching her cell phone to her chest.

Instinctively I pulled my pillow over my head. _Too much noise.. too much light_. "Get the fuck out." My voice was muffled. I didn't want to deal with her insane shit right now.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me how you managed to fuck up again." Her heels clicked all the way over to my bed. "I'm on the phone with Emmett right now and god damnit Edward he's really upset."

Something started to ignite in the back of my mind. Something familiar.. what the fuck happened yesterday? All the alcohol and drugs completely fucking fogged my mind. Why would Emmett call Rosalie in the first place? And even if he did call.. why would she actually talk to him? She hates men... _despises_ them. Especially big men.

"Why the hell are you talking to Emmett?"

Silence. So much silence I actually made the effort to peak my head out from under my pillow. Rosalie was staring at me with her lips in a tight line and her shoulders tense.

"Just fucking take the phone." She thrust out her hand and nearly fucking punched me in the face. I grabbed it hastily while she strutted out of my room. Fucking bitch.

I rolled over onto my side while clutching the phone to my ear and fighting the urge to vomit. "Emmett?" My stomach rolled.

"Dude.." He sighed and paused. "You can't come around for a while." I'd had my eyes closed to block out the sun but at this they flew open.

"What the fuck? What are you talking about?" My heightened anger made me feel even sicker than before.

"Just while Bella's here. I don't know how long she's gonna stay but Alice and Esme have gone into full protective mode and and as fucking girly as this sounds so have I.."

My brow furrowed. "Bella?" Who the fuck was Bella.

Pause.

"Bella..." Emmett started slowly," The girl at my house yesterday.." The fog in my mind was slowly starting to fade. "You _do_ remember right..."

I grunted a little and started to panic. "Yea of course I just.." My palms were getting sweaty at the idea of someone seeing through my lies. Even fucking Emmett knew nothing about me. He didn't know about my childhood or the drugs or the booze or the doctor's 'theories'. I planned on keeping it that way. "I'm just tired. I can't really think right now. Fucking Rosalie woke me up."

"It's not her fault man." Emmett snapped. "I called her because you weren't picking up."

Weird. "Ok.."

Emmett sighed again. "Sorry, it was just a really long night." I started to worry about what I couldn't remember.

"What happened?" Did I really wanna fucking know?

"Well after you and Jasper left we rushed Bella to the emergency room." He let out a gigantic sigh. "The doctors had no fucking clue why she fainted but it was pretty bad. She woke up screaming and.." I waited. "I just hadn't heard a scream like that in a long time."

I waited for him to elaborate. He didn't.

My hand tightened around the phone in annoyance. "What does any of this have to do with me coming to the house?"

"I don't know man.. Esme is on lock down mode. Until she figures out why Bella flipped she doesn't want you or Jasper coming around..." It was so fucking pansy of me but I felt a little... hurt? "No offense."

"Whatever man but tell your fucking sister to not use this as an excuse to hold random shit against me. It's not like I actually fucking did anything."

Emmett sighed again and he really did sound fucking exhausted. "Maybe." Click.

My hand was still rigid around the phone, and I was fucking pissed. No not just pissed, _infuriated_. What the fuck happened yesterday... There were bits and pieces that surfaced in my mind..

Bella. Who was this girl? This girl that caused Emmett so much stress. Emmett is never so serious but this chick had him all wound up. I remember big brown eyes and brown hair, but thats all.

Jasper needs to fucking fill me in on all these missing pieces.

**Bella POV**

Four days. Four long and horrible and suffocating days. That is how long I've been held hostage in Alice's room under her ever so watchful eye. I love Alice like a sister, I really do, but I just can't take being watched and cared for. It's so unecessary.

Esme and Emmett are no better. After my episode and the hospital and the doctors and the inquiries they wanted to protect me from the cruel outside world. I was their fragile being to protect.

Hilariously enough, Charlie couldn't give a fuck. He was more than happy to unload me. Thanks dad, you're the best.

Thank god today is Monday. I catch a break because Alice and Emmett are both at school and Esme is at work. I have the entire house to myself and subsequently have the ability to actually _leave_ the house. It's like a whole new world.

Truthfully I really do need to get out and get some fresh air. I planned on going downtown to see if the old Forks bookstore was still there. Since I have no clue how long I'm going to be forced to live in this shit hole I might as well get a job so that I can at least support myself. It's not like Charlie ever feeds himself so there is no way in hell he's gonna feed me.

I hadn't been outside on my own since before I fainted, and after I fainted I'd had a three day stay in the hospital for 'observation'. Naturally, I felt like an escaped mental patient as soon as I walked out the front door. I probably looked the part too. Emmett had let me borrow his sweatshirt when I got back from the hospital and it was love at first sight. For the past four days I have lived in that sweatshirt and a pair of old beat up sweatpants of mine. It killed Alice to see me dressed like that because as it turns out she's now a fashion maniac. Considering that I was the one who was mentally unstable though, she let it slide for the time being.

I could really give a fuck how I look so for my walk to the bookstore I'm still wearing Emmett's over sized gray sweatshirt. I did decide to get out of the sweatpants and into jeans but that's really only because the sweatpants were starting to smell. My hair was disgustingly greasy so I used the hood as an easy out, and since I didn't have the patience to bother with any makeup my sunglasses were an easy out for the scary dark circles hanging from my eyes. Quick and easy and ready to go.

Alice would have just died.

It was really gracious of me to even call the five store lineup in Forks 'downtown'. In truth is was just a small grocery store, a bookstore, a lone bank, a second hand clothing shop, and a cafe. I didn't mind though, it was all I really needed at the moment. Plus, these little stores were only a ten minute walk from Alice's house.

The entire sky was gray but bright. At least my sunglasses weren't totally unecessary.

Each step I took on the concrete brought forth a new memory. I walked these streets everyday when I was younger and I fucking enjoyed it. I'm not sure which part wigged me out more, the nostalgia or the past enjoyment.

"Get a grip." I mumbled to myself while turning the corner and seeing what I had hoped was still here. Forks town bookstore, in all it's glory.

I let out a tiny sigh and took off my sunglasses while pushing open the glass door. I don't really know many people that read so I hoped that I would be able to walk in, fill out an application, maybe buy a book and get out. Unoticed.

"Bella?" A tiny female voice sounded from behind the cash register and I inwardly cursed myself for thinking it would be that easy. "Bella? Is that you?"

A skinny and shy looking girl was staring at me through thick rimmed glasses. Her hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail and she wore a sweet grin.

"Hi Angela." I was glad I remember her name. I was glad I remembered her face.

Angela came out from around the counter and walked over to give me. "Wow, It's been so long." She was still smiling. "Are you living here again?"

I shrugged one shoulder. "I'm living and I'm here." She laughed a little and I tried really hard to offer her a non terrifying smile. "Actually, I'm looking for a job." Her eyes lit up.

"Really." It wasn't a question, more so an amazement. "Well you came to the right place because it just so happens that we need another person." Her smile faded a little. "Its not that I don't love it here, but sometimes I need the help so I asked if we could hire another girl." Her face radiated shame.

Mine probably radiated relief.

"I'd love to work here." It was true, the only place I could imagine myself working was at a dusty little book store. I'd happily surround myself with books and actually get paid for it.

Angela clapped and turned on her heels. "I'll just grab an application from the back."

"That's great thanks."

A near by bookshelf was bearing a large sign that said '_Classics'_ It was like a porch light drawing a mosquito in as I walked over already enthralled. My fingers were twitching for the familiar authors that I love when I tripped over my own fucking feet and fell into the person entering the store.

"Holy fuck!" The person I fell into said in alarm while catching me and steadying me on my feet. I was no doubt five shades of red in embarrassment as I started to apologise.

"Shit I'm so sorry I tripped and---" I looked up to see a man towering over my short form and my words caught in my throat.

A male face was staring wide eyed back at me. A beautiful and familiar face.

"Edward." I mouthed his name in a whisper and his eyes became hard and guarded. I shook my head a little. "Sorry, I mean, that's your name right?" He wavered for a moment and then slowly nodded.

His hands were still on my shoulders from picking me up and once he realized this he ripped them away and kept them rigid at his side. "Sorry." His voice was velvet.

I didn't know what he was apologizing for. In all honesty, I didn't even know if he recognized me. Edward had only ever once been in the same room as me and that was when I fainted. Of course it was impossible for me to have forgotten such a beautiful face like his but my crazy ass one was both average and easily forgetable.

Of course there was the other alternative, that he _did_ recognize me and thought I was a lunatic.

His green eyes continued to stare hard at my face and I was starting to become extraordinarily uncomfortable. He definitely fucking recognized me.

"Bella?" Angela's soft voice was behind me. "here's the application."

I turned and gratefully took the paper from her hand. "Thanks." She nodded. "I'm gonna fill this out at home."

She smiled, "Sure thing, just drop it off whenever."

_Escape, escape, escape._

I turned back to Edward who was still staring at me and then made a bolt for the door. I threw my sunglasses back over my eyes and nearly started running when I heard footsteps following me out.

**Thanks for reading! Please review and let me know what you think!**

**Hope everyone is having a great long weekend!**


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